Saturday, December 31, 2011

Puzzle Pieces

My uncle, Dee and his long time girlfriend, Denise, gave our family a jigsaw puzzle for Christmas, and we've been working on it since then.
It's got me thinking.
The world is kind of like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and every person is a piece. There is one place in the puzzle that we fit perfectly, though we may try to make ourselves go somewhere else. That somewhere else could be with a different significant other, a different job, team, or group of friends, but no matter how hard we try, it will never work, and if we do manage to stick ourselves in there, it messes up the rest of the puzzle.
It may look like we fit somewhere, but we might not. I didn't "fit" in high school, so I'm getting out early. My brother and his last boss didn't "fit" and they fired each other (long story - bottom line, make sure your contract is signed, not just verbal). We're all trying to figure out where we fit, and the lucky few who know where they fit try to help us on our way.
There's only One Person who knows where everyone fits, though, and He is the One we need to turn to, not to those who think they are where they fit, not to the other people trying to figure it out, only to Him. And He knows where everyone fits because he made the puzzle.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Last Lecture

Hey people!
For my English 11 class, I had to write an essay as if I had about a month left to live, and I think it turned out pretty good, even though I felt really depressed after finishing it.
Read it if you want. And don't worry - no one has told me I don't have long to live, except my friend who I always make lose "The Game." Which you just lost, by the way.

I have been described as a writer, a creative mind, a friendly person, and a follower of God. Most importantly, however, I am a combination of all of the above. Those of you who knew me from school, did not ever really see who I truly am, because I could not be myself in that environment. Those of you who knew me from Mission55 youth group knew me much better because I knew I could be myself around you. You may have figured some of this out while you knew me, but I wanted to state it one last time.

A lot of you may not know that the reason I planned to graduate high school early was because I have a passion to make a difference in this world. One of the things that I believe is wrong with the world is the fact that people no longer value human life, which is the only thing ever created that cannot be replaced. A human life begins at the moment of conception, but our society has gotten to the point where if the mother and father of the child do not wish to have the baby, they will simply “take care of it” - meaning abort it. What is wrong with our society? Dr. Seuss got it right - “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” The child who was conceived fifteen minutes ago, is a person who could be the man or woman to grow up and cure cancer, be the next J.R.R. Tolkien, or be a future president. The summer after our fifth grade year, one of my best friends, Kassie, died in a tragic semi accident. Her dream was to work as a zoo veterinarian and help to find ways to save animals in captivity from being treated cruelly, and she was never able to realize that dream because of her untimely death. She could have revolutionized the way animals are treated when they cannot live in the wild, but her life ended. She had no more opportunities to live and make a difference, because she was no longer on earth. When you take a person’s life, you take all of their opportunities to become who they were meant to be. This should be the crime no person could ever commit - yet over 100,000 abortions take place each day. Wake up, people! The children you are killing could have been the ones that saved your life one day. We need to stop killing off the future.

One of the most important things I ever learned was the importance of forgiveness. When I was in sixth grade, I was assaulted physically and verbally on the bus on the way home from school; I was yelling and screaming, but the attackers didn’t leave me alone and the bus driver didn’t do anything. I ended up having to leave the school and transfer because of those other students. I found out that the other kids on my bus had a celebration when they found out I wouldn’t be back. I never knew why they hated me so much. For years after that November day, I was terrified of seeing the main perpetrator in public. I was afraid first of all that she would try to do something to me again, and secondly I thought I might punch her in the face. I saw her at the library once, in eighth grade, and the first thing I thought was, “I’m going to go punch her.” I didn’t, but I wanted to. I had a very hard time forgiving this person, and it ate away at me for years, keeping me a prisoner to my past. Time went on, and the summer before my tenth grade year, I saw her working at a local thrift store - doing community service, actually. My mom politely asked her if she was doing community service, meaning for National Honor Society, and the other person working with her responded in a way that informed us that she was doing community service as a punishment. We had run in to some friends in the thrift store, and when they realized who the girl was one of them asked me, “Can I go punch her?” I knew I had forgiven her though when I said, “No, I don’t think that’s necessary.” Forgiving that girl was one of the most freeing things I have ever done, as I no longer felt that we didn’t do enough to have her face consequences, and I was terrified of her. After I realized I had forgiven her, I could talk about what happened, help others going through similar things, and I no longer was afraid of her. Before that, I could not even hear her name without breaking down crying, much less tell anyone anything about the day she and her friend attacked me. Forgiving can be hard - trust me, I know - but when you learn to forgive someone, you free yourself.

The most important thing in my life is Jesus Christ. He taught me the most important life lesson of all - how to live your life. Nothing else is important, and I want to make sure that everyone knows that. You see, this world is not all there is. There are two destinations after a person leaves this world - heaven and hell, and the default destination is hell. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I have to tell you this. I have to tell you the truth - because it’s my last chance to do so. Every single one of us has made mistakes. No, not just made mistakes. We’ve screwed up, royally. Most people think that the way to get to heaven is to live a “good” life, or be a “good” person. But that just doesn’t cut it. God is perfect, and he cannot allow anyone imperfect to be in close proximity to himself. No one can reach that perfect standard alone, but God provided a way for us to be in fellowship with him for eternity - he sent His Son, His only Son, to die in the most brutal way possible as a payment for our sins. You see - His Son, Jesus Christ, was perfect, and He took our punishment, which was death, and gave us His perfection. That is the greatest gift anyone could ever give or receive. If we accept that, we can have the fellowship with God that He provides. The punishment for our sins, was death, and eternal agony, but Christ gave us a way to avoid that, by dying. He didn’t stay dead, though. He defeated death and rose from the grave in three days. How do you live your life? Do you live your life for eternity, or do you live your life for pleasure now? Nothing is more important than the way you live your life, and Jesus is the One who taught me how to live my life.

This might be the last time I see any of you. We all know that. I want you to remember three things. First of all, “A person’s a person, no matter how small;” no one has the right to kill any person. Secondly, forgiveness is one of the most important things you will ever learn, and it frees you. And last, and most important, there is One God, who is perfect and has the right to punish you for every thing you do that makes you imperfect, but He has provided you with a way to be forgiven - you just have to accept that offer, the most perfect gift anyone has ever given. I know you might miss me, but I hope to see you in heaven someday. Don’t miss me too much though - I’ll be with the One who made me.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

अ rambling

थिस कंप्यूटर इस बेंग वेइर्द।
क्रेजी ओथेर लन्गुअगे अगेन
इ स्पेअक इंग्लिश...नोट व्हाटेवर थिस इस.

Friday, December 9, 2011

It just takes one

It just takes one
One person
To change everything

Morning
Don't wanna get up
But I'll see my friends
So I do

First period
I stink at physics
It doesn't make sense
But Kirsten makes me laugh
So it's all good

Second Period
Practice Standardized test
Done in less than 30 minutes
So I got to do whatever
It's all good

Third Block
Used to be my favorite class
Now, It's harder to enjoy
Less active and hands on

But I'm writing
Working on my plot
So it's all good.

Fourth Period
We have a test today
But I'm confident
And the one person I can count on
To make me laugh
Is here
So It's all good.

After school
With people I love
To hang out with
It's all good

Audition
I don't do so hot
I wasn't as well prepared
To sing, as I would have liked
But oh well.

Then
Someone says
Something
Extremely Rude
It's not All good.

Insulting,
Rude
Mean
and Upsetting.

It just takes one
To ruin someone's day.
Don't you understand?
You have a responsibility
To take care of your fellow humans.

Y'all don't get it
Do you?
One person
Ruined my day.

We try not to let it get to us
But when someone says something
It hurts
And it's hard to forget.

One person
Ruined the entire day
I feel pathetic
For letting that happen.
But it hurt, what he said
About me.

People, remember this -
Everything you do has an effect
On someone.
Do you want to make a difference for good
Or hurt someone?

Watch what you say
Watch what you do
It just takes one
To ruin
Or make
A person's day.

Lisa Gilson
December 8, 2011

(Dan Bergstein always makes my day)
(and a bunch of other Sparklers, like Peter and Christina...and a few other people)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Life is Crazy

Well....
Life is crazy.
If you remember, I injured my ankle back in September, and I haven't been able to go to school since the first week of October because of a reinjury.
I'm going back on Tuesday, for one class period a day. And I'm scared. I'll be using a walker, because I still can't use my foot normally. I'm going back to the two classes I like the least, and have the most trouble with. Hopefully the next week I'll be able to go to two classes a day, 3rd and 4th period, as my fourth period classes are some of my favorites.

And NaNo is taking over my life, assisted by homework.

<3 you all.
Arwen

Friday, November 4, 2011

Prologue for my NaNoWriMo Novel

It's different when the blood is not your own. It's so much worse when it's your cousins, or your dearest friends. But first, before either of them were hurt, it was me. It always started with me, whether near home or far away, with friends or alone. The first time was a stray arrow in my thigh. I fired back, killing the human who shot it. It was instinct alone, the way I had been trained during the seven years since I was five and started training. I was twelve then. At fourteen, it was my best friend's sword, wielded by his younger brother. My elf ears heard it coming, but I wasn't quick enough, and had I been any slower to grab the blade, he would have killed me, with a slice through the stomach. It's hard for me to forgive someone, and with my quick temper, I nearly returned the blow. Feredir saved us both, but I couldn't stop my blade in time when he leapt in to save his brother, and I gave him the deep scar on his cheek. it will never heal. I was used to my own blood, but this was different. I may never forgive myself. But we are still best friends, and I must go to the capital. He has been there for four months, and has no traveling companion to return with. I go with two of the very few humans I trust, Maegan and Mick-hael. We meet at our favorite creek tomorrow at the third hour.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

NaNoWriMo

Well, I started my NaNo. The tentative title is Earthquakes, Hurricanes, and Tornadoes, but as it's about elves and men at war... I may change the title later.
314 words so far, but I only have had about ten minutes to write today. And that was when I woke up, so I was a bit sluggish.
I invested in my favorite kind of pen for NaNo, because I always hand write first. So, if I don't post as much this month...that's why.
314 down, 49686 to go.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

3 Words, 8 Letters

His last words to me before he left for the capital, were "Three words, eight letters. Always." He thought I knew what he meant, but there were so many other things that could be. "I love you," ususally, but "I hate you," "I am going," etc. What was his meaning? He couldn't be saying "I love you," because we've been best friends since we were born. Just friends, right? I didn't know any more.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged

I won! I won! I WON!
Hehe. Occasionally I get a little over-excited about some things (read: everything). But that's okay. A hilarious Sparkler just gave me this award, and then I found out that I know her IRL. I am required to tell seven random things about myself and then tag seven bloggers with 100 words or less. Let the good times commence...
And I don't care about the 100 words or less.

My seven things:
1. I am a Jesus Freak
2. I'm a Cru Staff Kid, and if you don't know what that is, I'm sorry. But it has to do with where my parents work, and all the Cru SKs are AWESOME
3. I'm ALWAYS (not quite...but almost) on Sparklife
4. I can quote the Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter movies...almost the entire things. (All 13 movies).
5. I'm graduating a year early from high school
6. I love writing, and though it may look like I mostly write poetry, that's not actually true. That's just what I post on this blog.
7. I sew and crochet.

Now, onto the seven bloggers:

1.
Peace. Love. Rock N' Roll. Various Other Things
A) It's metalhead865.
B) He's REALLY funny
C) He was the first Sparkler I followed on blogger.
2. Parenthetically Bizzare and five.minute.anyday - Both of these are by Christina Icarus, and she's one of the most awesome, encouraging, creative people I've ever talked to.
3. LaserFarm - While this isn't a blogger blog, IT'S DAN BERGSTEIN. No more explanation necessary.
4. Megan^2...Every time I read one of these posts, it completely makes my day.
5. Courtney - so, I JUST realized, that I know Courtney, from the CSU getaway 2009. And She's REALLY awesome...and her blog's pretty epic too. And if you asked my brother, he would tell you that I'm super duper excited about actually knowing her. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
6. Everybody on Sparklife. Supermegafoxyawesomehot AND awesomesauce? How much more epic can you get?
7. Drizzled in Awesome - because her "Liebster Blog" Post references the Princess Bride.

Huzzah! I'll consider myself officially "awarded."

वेल थिस इस वेइर्द...

वहत लन्गुअगे इस थिस, एंड वही इस माय टाइपिंग तुर्निंग इन्तो आईटी?
इ'म कांफुसेद!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Not dead, just forgotten.

She couldn't stop those words from running through her mind. What happened? The only thing she could think of that would have made Emilia stop being her friend was confronting her about her recent attitudes and behaviors. She was trying to be a good friend, trying to help Emilia realize that she had changed. But they were interrupted. When Emilia tried to get her to finish the conversation via text message, she got mad. This wasn't the kind of thing you talk about in 160 character segments. A letter, at least, if not a phone call or face to face.

"Emilia," she began to write, "We've been best friends for seven years. I was trying to be a good friend and let you know that you've changed, but now you won't speak to me. What's going on? I haven't been able to walk for six weeks because of my injury, and you've only texted me once, you haven't called, you haven't visited, and when you walked by me at church on Sunday, when I was in a WHEELCHAIR, you didn't even say hello. What happened to my best friend?"

Good grief, she thought. Why do the people I get close to always end up betraying me? I'm sick of it. When will I find a friend, other than the SparkLife people, who will stay a friend? When will I find a best friend who I'll stay in contact with the rest of my life? I have Taylor, but we never hang out except at school. I need a friend.

So she wrote a poem, and a blog entry, and didn't send the letter. At least, not yet.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Friend? That's funny.

A friend?

Yeah right.

Maybe in the past

But not any more.


You don’t get it

You never will

That probably doesn’t make sense

But that doesn’t matter to me


My fingers fly

The words dance across the page

Writing

It’s saved my life


You don’t realize

What your betrayal does

To me

Who you used to call your best friend.


What happened to that?

What happened to the person who said

We would be

Best friends for life, and eternity?


We talked every day

Then you got involved in crew

Cross country

Sailing


I was happy for you

I understood you didn’t have time anymore

But even during the off season

You didn’t make time for me.


Why didn’t you make time for me?

You made time for our other friend.

But not me, not Lisa.

Why not?


I know I kind of ignored you

For about a year

In sixth and seventh grade

But I realized it


And we weren’t as close then as now

Friends forever

You said that

But you betrayed me


I’m sick of it

Being betrayed

Will I ever have a year

Where none of my friend betray me?


2nd grade, 3rd grade, 4th grade

5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade,

8th grade, 9th, 10th,

This last year of high school


Betrayal

After betrayal

When will I find

A friend who won’t do this to me?


You know what?

I’m done with it.

Done with your games

Done with all the games


I’m me

And you’re going to miss me

When I’m gone

Trust me, I know.


I don’t need you

Yeah, we’ve been friends

But I have others

That won’t do this to me.


Thanks for the memories,

But I’m done

The good memories

I’ll never forget.


You probably already have.

You’re missing out.

You’re missing out on me

And when I change the world


You’ll be saying

“I knew that girl

In elementary, middle,

And high school.


We were best friends

What went wrong?

What did I do?”

And you’ll realize


That you

Missed out

On the friendship

And loyalty of me.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Not a Clone

Because you're older

You think you're better
That doesn't mean
It's true

You have no power over me
You can't control me
You don't own me
You're not better

I'm me
Not a clone
Of You
I'm Me.

I was created
To be who I am
Not created
To follow the crowd

I'm going to be myself
Not who you
Want me
To be

I choose
My God
To determine
Who I'll be

I'm me.
Not a clone
Of you.
I'm me.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Brain Says STOP But My Heart Says GO

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. My ankle that I sprained got worse. I had a mishap on my crutches and have either a contusion or a stress fracture in my heel. Then my other leg almost went out. So, I'm now in a wheelchair.
YAY!

Anyway...
This is my new favorite song, thanks to Metalhead/Rawkfist/Peter.

"My Brain Says Stop, But My Heart Says Go!"

I'll do my best
Don't get upset
Sometimes my brain says no but my heart says yes
Oh!

It moves fast like it is whiplash
Everybody run and get a season pass
You think you understand it but you come up last
Should’ve just passed
Now you’re standing in a big disaster
I’m here to let you know
Can’t trust what you think you know
Don’t follow that yellow brick road when your brain says stop but your heart says go
You move like the wind when my brain kicks in
Beats like a drum when my heart says some
I come so undone
Help me choose which one
I want to be smart but I wanna have fun
So I’ll sing

I’ll do my best
Don’t get upset
Sometimes my brain says no but my heart says yes
Oh!

Turn it on like electric volts
Got your heart thumping like it was techno
Should’ve checked yes but you just checked no
Shooting from the get-go
But it’s tricky when it gets so automatic
Super static
Just go when you know you know
Don’t follow that yellow brick road when your brain says stop but your heart says go

I’m here to let you know
Can’t trust what you think you know
Don’t follow that yellow brick road when your brain says stop but your heart says go

Oh!


Good night!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Day Has Come

This might seem a little creepy or morbid, but I didn't write it. I adapted it. It's from Ezekiel 7.

THe day is here
It has come
Doom has burst forth
Arrogance has budded

Violence has grown
To punish violence
None will be left
None will be left

The time has come
The day has arrived
Outside is the sword
Inside is famine

All who escape
and survive
Will be in torment
clothed with terror

They were proud
Of their possessions
Idolized them
And worshipped them

Prepare chains
for the land is full of violence
I will punish
My people

Calamity upon Calamity
Rumor upon Rumor
The king will mourn
The prince will despair

My wrath is upon them
No one will battle
The day is here
The time has come.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm Looking For a Friend

I was going to post a poem I wrote last night, not this one from 3 years ago, but something happened today that made me feel like I could write it again.

I thought you were my friends
I thought you'd be there for me
I was trying to be there for you
I thought I was your friend
I guess I thought wrong.

I'm looking for a friend
Someone who's there for me
No matter what I'm going through
Someone who won't push me away.

I thought you were my friend
But you turned your back on me
You stopped talking to me
You had found somebody else.

I'm looking for a friend
Someone who's there for me
No matter what I'm going through
Someone who won't push me away.

I try to be your friend
But you won't let me
You're desperate for a friend
Now I know why!

You cuss me out
You push me away
You steal my stuff
You push me away
You push me away

OH!

I'm looking for a friend
Someone who's there for me
No matter what I'm going through
Someone who won't push me away.

Goodbye, Goodbye,
I won't be speaking to you anymore
Goodbye, Goodbye,
You don't deserve me as a friend
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Vinyl Countdown

I'm weird. I have a record player and I listen to it all the time. =) But this is about all of my friends.

"The Vinyl Countdown"

"So to the best, to the best
Of our knowledge we
Fight for technology
So back when our parents were in college we
Weren't even born and neither were CD's
So when our folks listened to the record
They gather 'round and spun them on the turntables
But these days the records are all worthless
'cause the DJ's spin them on purpose

[Chorus]
So let's put this in a perspective
In day in which we live in
It's all the same with the kids no one knows what vinyl is
These days they burn the MP3's
Onto their stacks of blank CD's
And the records still stay in this world
It's the same with all the kids 'cause no one knows what vinyl is

These day the kids are so ignorant
They have no clue what to do with the selenage
They say it won't play it's my CD players fault
I'll kick it to the park and play some frisbee golf
I try to burn it like the all the CD's
But what the heck look at all this mess

[Chorus]
So let's put this in a perspective
In the day in which we live in
It's all the same with all the kids no one knows what vinyl is
These days they burn the MP3's
Onto their stacks of blank CD's
And the records still stay in this world
It's all the same with all the kids 'cause no one know what vinyl is

[Chorus]
So let's put this in a perspective
In the day in which we live in
It's all the same with all the kids 'cause no one knows what vinyl is"


- Relient K

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Clutch

A lot of the poems I write are more like songs, but I'm not very good at the music part (Yet...my parents were music majors and they're teaching me music theory). These are the lyrics I wrote most recently, and I think they're pretty awesome.

This is the clutch
This is the moment
You can't give up
You can't back down

Your life is gonna change
Whichever way you choose
The highway,
or the Right Way.

There's no return
Not to who you used to be
There's no going back
To the past.

This is the clutch
Hit the home run
Or lose the game
Of life.

Your life is gonna change
Whichever way you choose
The highway,
or the Right Way

He's gonna change you
Change your life
Make you new
Make you 'live

Follow what He says
Or lose the freedom to choose
Follow the crowd
If you wanna lose.

This is the clutch
Make your choice.
This is the clutch
You've got the right to choose.

Your life is gonna change
Whichever way you choose
The highway,
or the Right Way


I wrote this on the way home from vacation this summer, after seeing the Reds beat the Padres at Great American Ball Park (First ever pro baseball game. It was epic.) There was a triple hit at a clutch moment, and that's where this came from. Except its something much bigger than baseball. It's eternity.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Me!

Not only am I on Youtube, I'm also on SPARKLIFE!!!!! As in, my video is. =)

This is quite exciting. Oh, and I got my poem back! I'll type it up tomorrow. <3

http://community.sparknotes.com/2011/09/21/the-call-a-sparklers-cover

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Where I'm From

This is kind of a story of my life, in poetry form. I was told in 9th grade to write a poem about who I am, and where I'm from. I chose to write it in more of a free verse style than many others, and it's kind of a brain dump, but it's me, my memories, and my past.


hot summer sun
pirates, yelling, having fun
crying friends, saying goodbye
heavy boxes in the room
the new girl, shy and afraid
friendships forged
betrayal, hatred and fear
dribble down the court - swish
blueberry, apple, rhubarb pie
chocolate chip cookies, fresh and warm
there's never enough chocolate chips
new girl again, new school
dancing music drama art
why do you hate me? why did you do this to me?
back at home, the new girl, but not.
middle school, old friends made new
attacked, yelling , to no avail
that's it, i'm done, get me out of here.
new girl once more, i haven't seen you in forever
sisters, inseparable, hyper
thanks to the A&W root beer, yum
NO! you can't take her. i'll miss her too much.
she's back! i missed you
i need some time alone, you've hurt me deeply.
best friends i've ever had
teenage years begin, things are complicated
love or just immaturity
broken heart, my own fault
best friends forever, don't try to make us part
tea ring cardamom freshly baked bread
staying up all night reading, or talking
friendship, milestones, where i am now
high school, friendships renewed, others irreplaceable
running soccer football and sports
he's innocent! he would never do that
crying tragedy who can I turn to?
together, us three sobbing uncontrollably
praying, i don't understand
music, the only constant left
rock, metal, rap and film scores
writing, not stopping, formulate the story
obnoxious, yelling, guys are immature
coffee cappuccinos new books and shoes
leather rain, just cut grass
i've been here for a while, but this is where i'm from

Friday, September 16, 2011

If You Really Knew Me

This is a poem I wrote back in eighth grade, and it's one of my favorites that I've written. It's kinda long, but it's good.
Oh, and I sprained my ankle (Level 2, with nerve damage...) on Sunday playing soccer after Bible study. Whoops...and OUCH.


If you really knew me
You would understand
How much it hurts
To be someone like me.

People do not realize
How mean they can be
Hurting other people
With every word they say

Parents always say
To a little child
That others' words
Can never hurt.

They do not remember
When they were teased
But we remember words
Longer than a fist.

If you really knew me
You would understand
Just how much it hurts
To be someone like me

Teased all my life
Attacked in sixth grade
Called anorexic (side note...I eat. A lot. Like, I'm eating ice cream while typing this a lot.)
Called an idiot

Shunned by the populars
Outcast by the preps
Because I'm not an athlete
I don't have a 'group.'

My friends and I
We try to get away
Leaving for the library
There isn't teasing there.
At least, that's what we thought.

Even the library
Is not free of bullies
Girls can be so mean
But, so can boys.

Just because I'm not
The prettiest girl
Even thought I don't
Try to hide my face.

That doesn't mean
That I don't have feelings
I still hear your words
Putting me down.

If you really knew me
You would understand
How much it hurts
To be someone like me.

My best friend was killed
In a semi-crash
Three days after
My grandmother past on.

I found out about it
Only two days after
I got back home
From Grandma's funeral

At first
I thought that it
Was a cruel joke.
How wrong I was.

I have so much
Hurt inside my heart
You have no idea
What's my heart feeling.

If you really knew me
You would understand
Just how much it hurts
To be someone like me.




Some background on this - I've been teased, bullied, and made fun of since I was in first grade because I'm a Christian and I'm not afraid to live like it. This was written when I had lost about four other good friends, one of them moving, and three turning on me. Now, I've found friends, the drama kids at school, and the people I talk to on Sparklife.
<3 you guys!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Narwhals!!!!!

I'm in Marine Biology this year, and we're currently working on projects on bodies of water. For me, it's Eastern Canadian bodies.
AND NARWHALS AREN'T EXTINCT!
I thought they were.
I'm just excited. =)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm Back!

Well, I haven't been able to blog for a while, but I'm back.
And I wrote another song/poem. But it's in a notebook that I just turned in to my APUSH teacher yesterday. Whoops. I'll post it ASAP.
I'm really excited about this school year though!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

You Are Poem

You are
The best you can ever be.
You are
Who you’re supposed to be.

Just because someone’s
Older Stronger Smarter
Doesn’t mean they’re better
Than you.

You feel
You’re not good enough.
You fear
You’ll always be alone.

You are
The best you, there’ll ever be.
You are
Who you’re supposed to be.

Fear of rejection
And hatred
Fear of loss
and betrayal.

It’s holding you back
It’s keeping you down
You can beat it.
You will beat it.

He-ey

You’re worth it
You’re able.

You are
The best you there’ll ever be.
You are
Who you’re supposed to be.

So don’t give up.
Don’t stop trying
You’ll make it
You’ll make it.

You are
The best you there’ll ever be.
You are
Who you’re supposed to be.

Sometimes

Sometimes

I hurt inside.

I want to cry,

But I can’t.


It’s hard to be me

Hard to feel beautiful

My friends say I am

But sometimes that’s not enough.


My best guy friend?

Yeah, I like him

More than a friend.

But I don’t want him to know.


Last time

Another friend

It backfired

Now, we don’t talk.


My sister says

I’m gorgeous

So why don’t guys

Want to go with me?


Am I not skinny enough?

She weighs more

Yet they all choose her

Over me.


Am I not happy enough?

Maybe because I’m invisible.

If someone noticed me

Maybe I’d be happier.


Is it because

I’m not athletic?

I try my best

Every time I play.


I don’t cuss.

Is that a problem?

Profanity is for those

Too dumb for real words.


Because I’m smart?

Because I try?

Is that why?


Have you ever realized

That I’m human too?

That I’m a girl?


A girl who would like

Someone to say “I love you”

“You’re beautiful,”

Someone to hold?”


Ever wonder

Who I really am?

I’m not perfect

But I’m who I am.


You laugh when

You find out my dream

My Grandma helped it start to come true.

Now, she’s gone.


I’m going to try.

My dream should come true.

Because I want to change the world.

But they think I’m too small.


Is it wrong?

That I have opinions?

Are we stuck

In archaic thought as that?


Did you ever stop to think

Sometimes I try to impress you

and your friends?

But you don’t seem to notice.


I act like I don’t care

What other people think

But sometimes I do.

And sometimes it hurts.


I really don’t care

What the ones who talk

Behind my back think

They don’t matter


But there are those

Who I do care

What they think

But they don’t notice.

You don’t see me.

Sometimes In the hall

You say hi

And smile

It always makes my day.


You didn’t know that,

Did you?

You’re just being

Kind to a friend.


My friend reminded me

Though Friendship often ends

in love, love rarely

Ends in friendship.


This reminded me

That the loss of

friendship

Is devastating.


Sometimes

When I’m alone

I feel beautiful.

But rarely.


Especially

When I see

My gorgeous

Best friend.


She’s athletic

Smart

Hard working

And beautiful.


The guys

At her school

Always wish

They could dater her.

I’m sure.


It’s tiring.

Trying to live up

To the standards

of Society.


I dream

Of acting

Modeling

and singing.


But culture

Likes people

Who are perfect

And beautiful


I’m not.

I’m scarred

Pain

Of memories.


6th grade

That torture

Why was she

So mean, to me?


There were others

On the bus

That day

They didn’t care.


I know

They heard my yells

They could’ve stopped them.

They didn’t.


You know what?

I can beat this.

I will win.

Someday

Everyone will see.


I’m a winner.

I’ll overcome.

I’ll be famous.

They’ll see.

They missed out on me.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Essay

So, I had to write an essay in my Advanced English class, and my dad posted it on his blog!
Here's a link to it.

http://www.thinkingchristian.net/2011/05/comparing-the-lord-of-the-flies-and-cs-lewiss-space-trilogy/

Check it out!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

English

Well, English Essays are evil.
But Sparklife is awesome
Here's a poem I wrote for Sparklife
or not. its on my laptop.
I'll post it later.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Monday, April 25, 2011

Hiccups

Well,
Hiccups are officially the worst thing on the planet. My family and I went to dinner at IHOP tonight, and when I got home, I started doing my homework, and then got the hiccups. My dad asked me "Do you want me to yell at you?"
I asked, "Why?"
"To scare the hiccups away," he replied.
I told him no, but being my dad, he did anyway.
And my hiccups got worse and became full body hiccups.
YAY!!!!
Hiccups Hiccups go away
Don't come back another day.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

B

Well, lets just say...this has been a very sad week. I don't want to go into details, but I've been out of town since last Friday, and won't be back till next week. And what REALLY stinks - I'm missing school. And my AP Euro test is on May 6th...YIKES...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

A

Well, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
That's all I have to say.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

2 Days

Well, I babysat yesterday. For a 7 year old with way too much energy.
She made me play "Littlest Pet Shop" with her. I don't even know HOW to play Littlest Pet Shop. And why would any child want to have toy animals that weren't soft and cuddly, like stuffed animals?
It doesn't make sense to me... Oh well.
I'm working on an essay for my AP Euro class now. It's a DBQ, or document based question, also known as torture. But oh well, it might help my grade a little bit. *Hopefully...*
Anyway, less than two days until my birthday!!!!!!!
So I'm excited.

Lisa

Fail

oops. I accidently posted the same thing twice...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hello

Well, I'm finally starting a blog.
I've been planning to for a really long time, but I finally am. Basically, I'm a (not so) normal teen.
I listen to film scores instead of popular music, because its 10^1000000 better and more awesome than normal music.
I build random stuff out of Jenga blocks.
I babysit and mow lawns, as well as working at McDonald's.
My name is Lisa
My birthday is in 5 days.
I'm not counting down. I promise.
Goodbye.